Ok, this has bothered me for a long time. What’s up with morning people? They are astonished when they find out that there are people in the world that aren’t like them. Whatdo you mean your not totally addicted to low fat, non-fat, double shot, mocha, vanilla, frappuccino’s? How do you live? Rrrriiiiggghhtt.

If your like me, you just take a little time to get warmed up. If someone says good morning, I’ll very happily send a good morning back to them, however if its not up to their standards of voice inflection, I’m automatically dubbed grumpy and an non-morning person. Ridiculous. Perhaps, I just enjoy sleep, and would like to live as long as possible and not digest any additional empty calories then I already do. Yeah, that’s it, I’m just a health conscious guy. Science has connected the amount of sleep you get to how long you live. So, since I’m a god fearing man, who wants to live to be 110, I get my 8 hours as best as I can.
Someone even had the stones to indict my college life. They said, “how did you ever get through college?” Then followed it up with,”You must not have done much in college, because what student isn’t sleep deprived and drinks coffee?” So in response to this, I’m going to allow my friends to stick up for me here. While I may not have been Van Wilder, I certainly tear it up. The person that said this, has also said that they won’t watch Anchorman because its “to crass.” Crass? I think my 87 year old grandpa doesn’t even use that word. This from the townie that barely knows the state geography, and only leaves to visit her boyfriend.
So what I’m saying is, how about we just “live and let live.” What if everytime I saw someone drinking coffee, I said, “Oh my gosh, you drink coffee? I heard that Hitler used to drink coffee before he turned the ovens on.” Do you think people would stop? No, they’d probably just continue to call me creative names like: Oscar the Grouch, poopie pants, and Grumps McGrumperson.
My best work is done after 11 a.m. I’m a night owl, who loves to sleep in. So, while I’m staying up to watch that game winning drive, The Godfather II, or reruns of Real World, your probably asleep, getting ready to wake up with the sun and annoy the world with your chippiness. Just remember this, your very annoying, people can only take you in small doses, and If most people had a chance to, they’d shove your 72 oz. Starbucks mug down your throat…
Now I need a nap…